Yes, I do know I run a travel blog. But deep down the reason, I started this blog was to be able to express my feelings and talk about my life, therefore, my posts about yoga and veganism.
Today I’m definitely going off topic. I’m going to tell you what a random (bullshit, I’m talking about myself) 33 years old feels before going on a first date.
I can already see most of you closing down the page thinking “come on, I’ve been to plenty of first dates, this is not interesting at all”. You are probably right, but if you are like me and don’t even remember what it feels like to go on a first date, then join me while I let my thoughts running out and I make a complete fool of myself. It’s going to be fun!
Let’s put it this way I don’t even know how many first dates I had in my life but I’m pretty sure I don’t even reach number 5 and 4 of those happened while I was 18-22 years old. Basically a life ago.
You’ll probably wonder how did I end up having relationships if I didn’t go on dates. The thing is that I always met my partners at work, at school, or because we were going out with the same people. I simply started a relationship with people I knew quite well, people I interacted with as friends, people I talked to until some feelings started to grow inside us to the point that the friendly relationship evolved into a romantic one. The whole thing always felt quite natural and it was never awkward.
Well, this time is different. This time I’m going on a date with a guy I met just a few times, a guy I play beach volleyball with, a guy that the first time I saw made me wonder if he was real or just a product of my imagination. He was standing there, a few meters away from me, warming up before a game while I just finished having fun with a few friends on the court. It felt like I was having a vision. He was simply too handsome.
Months passed by, I rarely saw him and even less thought about him (I was happy in my relationship). And then suddenly everything changed.
We started to play together more and more often. He told a friend of mine he really liked me, exactly while my boyfriend and I were breaking up. The next thing I know is that last Friday I went to a birthday party and the vision came back to me. He was there, in the middle of the room, with his big smile, his perfect hair and an incredible and visible desire to spend some time with me.
While we were in this extremely loud and crowded pub I felt like I was the only girl around, that he had eyes just for me and it was the nicest feeling in the world. It was simply a beautiful and perfect night. And don’t be naughty, nothing else happened. 🙂
So here I am now, spending days and nights daydreaming of our first date that will take place tomorrow night. I can’t even describe how nervous/happy/emotional I am since we agreed to go out together. I believe last time I felt this way I was probably a teenager which was fair enough. What is not normal is freaking out about a date at the age of a grown up woman. And while all my friends keep telling me that I should simply relax and not put too much pressure on this date I can’t stop thinking about the last date I recall.
It was 4 years and a half ago, I was in Sydney and I met a very nice, kind and handsome pilot who asked me out on a date. It started really well, he paid for my taxi to the pub, he bought me a glass of wine, we had lovely conversations and then we decided to move to another place.
So picture this. We are walking to our destination until we stop at a red traffic light. What happened next is that I suddenly found his lips on top of mine. Right there, in front of a traffic light, while I could hear the sound of it asking us to cross the street and people walking all around us.
That was awkward.
And not really what I had in mind.
Finally, we reached the bar, had another drink until I went back home. It wasn’t until I touched my bed and started to analyse the whole thing that I realized I didn’t like what happened. I felt uncomfortable and thought that “no, it wasn’t supposed to happen like that.” I mean, did he seriously gave me his first kiss while waiting for a traffic light to turn green?
Not that I ever imagine the moment I’m going to tell my grand kids how my husband and I meet (okay maybe I do sometimes) but could I ever tell them this story? Nope!
So now, do you get my nervousness? Do you understand why I can’t think straight and I’m a bit obsessed with this date? What if something similar happens? What if this amazing/incredible guy who seems perfect for me (I mean he is not just stunning, he loves volleyball, he traveled a lot and he is a vegetarian – BINGO!!!!) turns out to be boring or simply not the right person?
And on the other hand – what if I’m going on a date with the man of my life? What if the 10th of March will turn into a huge milestone in my life?
What are you saying?
That maybe spending hours talking and writing about this doesn’t help? You are so wise people but sometimes a girl does what she has to do… which in this case is overthink!
I’ll let you know folks, and in the meantime wish me luck!